New beginning

Okay, Sarah, this is for you. It's 2:30 in the morning here in California, and I'm unable to sleep once again. I've been having random pains since about 1:00 p.m., and have taken 2-3 vicodin over that time period. Watched a wonderful movie on tv (The Inheritance, based on a book/story by Louisa May Alcott) from 10-12, called Daniel just after midnight to say goodbye and bon voyage, faxed a health form for him, and laid down to sleep at about 1:00. After an hour of dozing, I decided to get up and possibly do some praying, but decided to do this first. Hope you like it! :)

Today is going to be hard, especially because of the lack of sleep and my pain. There's a funeral this afternoon, and we're singing a couple of songs at the beginning with a small group. (Old songs: Asleep in Jesus, and Til the Storm Passes Over). I don't want to be in pain today of all days, because the focus should be on the deceased and his widow.

I'm praying that I can finally surrender my will to God's...I prayed some from 1-2 while I was trying to sleep, and I told Him that whatever He wants for me is what I want too. I want to stop fighting and trust His care again, as I once did. Maybe journaling will help me to come to terms with it all. I don't know how many people I'll share this journal with, though, because it may be too personal. (And I may decide to quite using it after a time.)

Anyway, for better or worse, I'm in for the time being.