We just celebrated our 30th anniversary, which is incredible to me because I often don't even feel 30 years old (although other times I feel 80!). I look at my husband, and sometimes realize he's acting like an old man and finally beginning to show some age (he probably looks 40 now, but he's 52). I look at my children - all adults now - and I wonder where the time went. Mentally, I still feel 20, but my youngest is going off to college soon, and although she is very bright, she's not a child prodigy - she's 18. I remember when my first child turned 18, and it seemed so long until they would all be grown and yet here we are. In a week and a half, I'll be driving her off to college.
I'm not sure what life will be like with no children at home. We've had brief glimpses when they were away at camp, but this will be different. And it will always be different - it will never go back. That scares me just a little and saddens me too.
As I said, we just celebrated our 30th anniversary. The date crept up on us without any plans being made until the day before, although he gave me flowers and a very sweet card. I managed to get us a bed-and-breakfast reservation for the Friday following the anniversary. (30 years needs some recognition, after all!) Well the day we were supposed to go, my husband had some last minute chores that had to be done beforehand. He said the people at work were discussing whether or not we would be headed for divorce if he was too long with those chores! It made us realize that one problem with being in a committed monogamous relationship is that you sometimes take each other for granted. He takes for granted that I will wait for him even when he's late, and I won't give up on us no matter how many times it happens. On the other hand, I take for granted that he won't give up on me no matter how I look or how the house looks, etc. It's a good thing to have that kind of trust, but it should also inspire some desire in us to give our best to each other even though we don't have to.
We did manage to have a good getaway, albeit a brief one. Fortunately we were only going about 30 miles from home (to Benicia, CA), so even though we left late, it didn't impact the time together much. And we played romantic CDs on the drive, to set the tone for the getaway. We did some reflecting (although not enough) on how we can simplify our life and find a better balance between the conflicting demands on our time. The B&B was expensive, but I reminded him that if we went out regularly (once a week or even once a month?), we wouldn't have to spend so much on the anniversaries!
I pray that those of you (all 2 or 3 who read my blog) in committed relationships will also strive to bless your partner rather than taking them for granted. I will try to do the same.
