SURRENDER

Not a word we Americans like to use, even those of us who are Christians. Surrender my life, my will, my finances, my stubbornness, my health, my children, my husband, my things? Surrender it all?

We own two houses adjacent to one another. In the past five years the value of one (house A) has more than doubled its original value. The other (house B) has gone up by one-half its value in two years. (I’m not going to tell you original values, but we live in the San Francisco bay area, so you get the drift.) We also own some land in Texas, jointly with my sister. We are in our early 50s, the last 2 kids in college, no savings except his retirement (which should be more than adequate), old cars, old furniture, etc. And there is credit card debt ($30K) and college loans ($20K and rising). My husband has a very good job with the government, and I work 3 part-time jobs totalling 23 hours a week (during tax season it’s 4 jobs and 43 hours).

So now, a third property has become available. Also adjacent to us, and with 2 homes on it (houses C and D). Our first thought was buy that property, rent out 3 of the 4 houses and live in the 4th. Then a relative said she would like to buy house B, which would leave us with house A to live in and C/D to rent out. But the lender said no, interest on investment properties is too high – you’d have to move into C or D to get the best rates. (We borrowed from the equity on house B for down payment purposes.) So we said okay, that’s what we’ll do. But if we sell the rental house B to our relative, we have to pay capital gains tax on the increased value, even if we re-invest in homes C and D (because they would not be considered investment property if we live in one). And most recently we found out there’s a deed restriction on the new property that actually requires us to live in one of the houses on the same lot, or rent them both to one party.

I think we should sell everything, pay whatever taxes result and move to Texas. We could buy a lot of land and/or a lot of house for the money (and even some rentals too if we wanted), and most of my family are there. With that, we could also pay off our credit cards and maybe even the school loans. He says we should buy the third property and rent A and B (the relative would also be willing to rent from us). Then finally get serious about paying off the credit cards, etc.

So how does all this relate to surrender? In every honest relationship, there will be times of disagreement (because we are human, and we make mistakes). Someone has to surrender or the battle continues. When I surrender to God, I give up my will. I GIVE UP MY WILL. He retains control; it is not up to me to manage everything. When I surrender to my husband, I learn to surrender to God. Even if I think my husband is making a mistake, I can trust that God will be there and see us through. It may not be fair, it may not be right, it may be painful, but it is reality. Resistance is more painful than surrender.

I will surrender, I will let God set the priorities for my life. I will let my husband lead, even when I think he is heading in the wrong direction. I will read and meditate on God’s word so that I can develop the right attitude and avoid malice, bitterness and resentment toward my husband. Thanks for listening.